Guilty

I have been feeling guilty about a lot of things lately (one being that I've never actually posted on this blog yet...I think about it all the time). But mostly, I've been thinking about how little I lift my little girl in prayer when life gets busy. Sure, I pray over her every night and we pray at meals...but I mean REALLY pray for her, for us as parents, for my friends as parents and for their kids. It so easily escapes my mind when other things like To Do Lists, work and life crowd in like a freight train. It's like I don't have the capacity to hold it all, and I often wonder how to change that. We were on vacation last week, without our little one, and it struck me at one point that I hadn't prayed for her for two days. It made me sad and I felt guilty about it - that somehow because she was out of sight, I wasn't intentionally seeking the Lord on her behalf. It was weird, and a wake-up call for me I think, that I need to intentionally pray for my little girl every day. And, I've started a list of my friends who I want to intentionally pray for at least once a week as well - their kids, their marriage, them as parents. For me, it's so easy to forget to pray about those who matter most to me, unless there is a crisis.

Our church is starting something new this fall, we are doing a worship service for families. I'm pretty excited about it, though our little one is just a bit young to really take it in we feel. It's geared toward kids five and above, as far as them being able to 'participate and understand' the worship. I think it's wonderful that we are inviting our children to take part in church, to help them further understand what it means to be in relationship with Jesus and model, not just say, what our relationship with Him looks like. Again, it was a good reminder that my child sees my actions so much clearer than she hears my words. I was struck by this Scripture yesterday and it's stuck with me:

"People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belong to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them." (Mark 10:13-16)

I was really moved by "he took the children in his arms" for some reason yesterday. Jesus stopped and took the time to embrace these children, to show them that they were important and mattered so dearly to him...even if they didn't understand his words.
Sweet Jesus, I pray that you would help me to be a mother that shows my child by my actions and my words how important you are to me. That I would be intentional in my prayer for her and for all the sweet children in my life I love so dearly. I pray the things my mind would focus on would be the things that matter to you, instead of the things I feel are so important they sometimes cloud my priorities. Help me to remember that the kingdom of Heaven belongs to children, because of their sweet innocence and unquestioning love for you. Help me to be like a child in my faith, to love and trust you without reserve. And help me to be the mother you created me to be. Lord, I am so grateful for the gift of my child - and I pray that not one day I would take her for granted. In Jesus precious name, Amen