Wednesday, September 2, 2009

On His Own

It's official. My baby is leaving. In a few hours he will walk out the door to a new phase in his life. All day school. No more lazy mornings watching Little Einsteins. No more morning trips to Winco together. No more "Can we just have a pajama day?" He'll be gone. He is very excited. I am not.
Of course, I don't show that to him, but he knows. Yesterday he asked me, "Mommy will you be sad when you only have Ellie and Shiloh to play with?" I said a very sincere, "Yes".
I know this step is going to open up whole new worlds of wonder for him. Playground friends, field trips, a library with more books than he could ever read, new knowledge, adventures and fun. But in the back of my mommy mind I know there are also other worlds that will be there. Worlds filled with things that are not so fun or wondrous. Insecurities. Temptations. Pain. As he steps further and further from the nest, I have to admit that the world is full of those things. And there is no way to stop him from encountering them. He will have decisions to make. He will have obstacles to overcome. And I won't be able to be there with him, gently guiding him down the right path or comforting him when his feelings get hurt. I can't tell the kids on the playground how fun he is or stand up for him when someone is playing unfairly.
As I sat in sadness and resignation this morning I realized that I need to bring this before the Lord. Not just for today, but every day forward. He needs that guidance even when I'm not there, and that's where the power of the Holy Spirit will shine bright in his life. I may not be able to walk with him, but the Spirit of the Living God does not leave his side.

Lord God, I want to lay my son before you this morning. He is walking out the door and leaving a part of his childhood behind. He will be out of my reach for so many hours of the day. And I have no idea what he will encounter. It feels like having a part of my heart walk away into that first grade classroom. I so desperately want to be there, but I know I must loosen my grip and let go. He is your son and you are with him.
I pray that you will be his comforter. When his is lonely, scared or hurting, scoop him up in your arms and give him comfort. Hold him close, so that he can feel and know your presence. Whisper truth in his heart when he is tempted to believe a hurtful lie. Calm his fears when he feels like he cannot take another step. Give him the confidence that comes from walking in your presence. Be the arms around him that I cannot. May his heart say "May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant." (Psalm 119:76)
I pray that you would be his protector. When he is in danger, either physical, emotional or spiritual, please stand guard for him. Keep him safe from physical harm, accidents and injury. Protect his heart from Satan's lies that are intended to wound and scar him. And please protect his spirit from temptations that threaten to draw him away from your loving embrace. Please, Lord, be his guard and sentinel. Fight for him. Cover him. Save him from the plans of the enemy as you did David when he said, "He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters." (Psalm 18:16)
I pray that you would be his friend. Let him know that you are beside him, walking with him throughout his day. Hold his hand. Be his constant companion. Give him the confidence that comes from being a friend of God. I pray that as he walks into that school he would be ready and excited to make friends, that he would have the wisdom to choose them carefully and that he would be comfortable in his own skin because you have made him perfectly and walk with him daily.
In all the ways he will need you that I have not mentioned (or do not even know about), I pray that you would be with him, caring for him and watching over him. Lord, your son is about to step further out into the world, and I know you have a path marked out for him. Please give this mamma peace that her boy is your boy, and he is in your hands.
In the name of Jesus, who died for my son, Amen

Psalm 121
1 I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!

3 He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.

5 The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
6 The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.

7 The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.


  1. My baby is only heading out for half-day Kindergarten, and I'm feeling all of this too. Thank you for putting the emotion into words! It's good to remember that God is holding them tightly. I'll be praying often!

  2. Megan starts 1st grade in two days and I'm feeling all that you are feeling, thank you for sharing that prayer that we can cover our kids with, thank you!